Trump Can't Write

by Susan Bergeron

I haven’t blogged about Trump the Killer in months. I was hoping that the bloated ex-Bloviator-In Chief would have popped and exploded like the Hindenburg, with shredded pieces of empty Trump Baby flapping away in my rearview mirror, headed for oblivion. But I am back blogging about this human roach because I will not be out-blogged by the likes of Trump. Who knew this moron would attempt to actually write? Tweeting is not writing. Posting is not writing. Although most of his speeches, as chief executive were written for him (as most presidents’ speeches are) you could always tell when he was going off script. That’s when the style of the speech suddenly took a dive. So, when all major social media platforms shut him down for inciting an insurrection on our nation’s Capital, he was confronted with this terrible fact: Because he had cheated his way through his entire school life, because he was dishonest and lazy and paid other people to do his work for him, he never mastered the English language well enough to write in it. 

After the white nationalist conned his way into the White House by creating a large enough coalition of racists to vote for him in 2016, Trump began to tout his education at the Wharton School of Business as proof of his business acumen and genius. Later it was revealed that his rich father bought his son’s way into Wharton for a two year program after Donny the Dunce had first spent two years slogging his way through the less prestigious Fordham University. Why it is that Trump demanded that his fixer Michael Cohen put all of his schools on notice that they were not to release his academic records to the public or they’d face litigation? Was he trying to hide his great genius?

Bill Clinton was a Rhodes Scholar. Clinton could write and Clinton could speak (in fact, he made quite a good living at it after leaving office.) Dean Rusk was a Rhodes Scholar. James Fulbright is a Rhodes Scholar. George Stephanopoulos and New Jersey Senator Cory Booker are Rhodes Scholars. Rachel Maddow is a Rhodes Scholar. Even Country Western star Kris Kristofferson is a Rhodes Scholar. Donald Trump IS NOT a Rhodes Scholar and this stupid ignorant racist never will be. And he can’t write. Barack Obama is not a Rhodes Scholar, although he is often mistakenly thought to be one, however, his education is impressive and he is definitely a writer and orator of stellar talents. He graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard Law School and headed up the Harvard Law Review, a feat no mental moron would likely be capable of.

For those who stayed awake in history class, they may remember that our founding fathers, those bewigged and fancifully dressed men featured in 18^th Century fine art, were the scholars and lawyers of our early republic. They were the wealthy landed gentry who could afford an education. These were the men who gathered and discussed and created---framed what is now our Constitution and the bones of our democratic government. They had what one would call a classic education, often educated at places like Oxford University in England, and were well versed in the history of the evolution of the laws of man. They brought that education with them to the New World from developed European nations, but chose to improve upon those laws and invent a better government system. They were talented writers, masters of English, and elegant orators with the gift of persuasion. Donald Trump did nothing to add to the long legacy of well educated, well-spoken presidents who had the gift of oration or writing. Trump cannot write.

When Trump was banned from all social media platforms for inciting violence and getting people killed he became so desperate to spew his mendacious poisonous narrative that he actually attempted blogging. “From the Desk of the 45^th President Donald Trump” was a total flop. Within thirty days Trump’s blog was shuttered “due to lack of interest.” Mainstream media now reports the real reason is that the thin-skinned Trump couldn’t take the critical heat; he had it shuttered because everyone was mocking his poor writing. But let’s be real. Either reason is embarrassing.

Blogging is tough work. Every word is carefully chosen. Sometimes many re-writes are required. There are lots of edits and sometimes, if it’s a collaborative effort, there are disagreements to be worked out with the publisher. Readers’ comments make the blogger a better writer. Blogging should invite discourse and an exchange of thoughts and ideas. Trump’s “writing” did neither and he did not allow comments on his blog. Of course not! He never could take criticism. He just wanted to bloviate on the web. And his huge narcissistic ego expected his cult members to hang on his every word. I suppose he expected the blog would blow up like his Twitter feed once did, when it once reached 82 Million people.Trump was often teased for not reading, not liking to read, and stumbling and bumbling over big words on the teleprompter while delivering speeches during his one term as president. But Trump’s failed blog exposed something else just as embarrassing for a former world leader: Trump can’t write. I don’t expect we’ll ever be seeing a presidential memoir written by Trump, or a Trump Library (God forbid.)

For four years Trump got away with imposing foreign policy, threatening war, firing cabinet members, opining on other world figures’ policies, and lying about 30,000 times by using social media and the bully pulpit of the Presidential Podium. The public joked and mocked the Former Guy for his bad spelling, bad grammar and inappropriate use of capital letters (I often referred to him as “Caps Lock Caligula” during the five years I wrote about Trump). 

Thank God we now have a president that can both read and write. It’s also refreshing that President Biden and his staff do not abuse the official Twitter account with illiterate self-serving Tweets meant only to divide and conquer the electorate.

Trump seems to have a problem with arithmetic, as well. He keeps inflating the number of votes he received in the 2020 election and claims he “got the most votes ever of any president.” Trump claims that he won the election, despite the fact that Biden received six million more popular votes than Trump, winning the prize of all time highest number of popular votes. The 306 votes Biden clinched in the Electoral College won him the election, having left Trump in the dust with only 232 votes.

Even in these unprecedented times of distance learning and the unorthodox methods necessary to keep our children studying and learning during a world pandemic, three things will never change: The basic foundation of all education will always have to include the three R’s---readin’ writin’ and ‘rithmetic! Trump provides a valuable lesson about what happens when you skip the three R’s. You end up a triple F---a big Fat Fucking Failure.