French Prez Emmanuel Macron must be laughing extra hard after Trump put planes in the Revolutionary War. That gaffe was the highlight of Trump's lame attempt to equal the Bastille Day Parade he saw in France and has been creaming over ever since.
If you've never had cataracts, that's how the world looks through the Plexiglas shield that the Secret Service put in front of Trump. It was like a dirty, wavy windshield. How could anyone take seriously a president who is so afraid of his hand-picked Fourth of July crowd that he stands behind a fun-house mirror?
But there he was in his First Communion suit (the Church of Roy Cohn) and that red tie that hides his crotch. Melania was rigged out in some big-shouldered white outfit that made her look like a squinty-eyed Queen of the Nile.
Everyone was looking for Trump to go off the rails as usual and go on a holiday rant. He didn't. But if anyone anywhere says his speech was “presidential,” they should be endlessly slapped across the face with a wet MAGA hat.
Trump's writers must have worn out Wikipedia digging out the fourth grade history lesson that Trump read like he couldn't wait to finish and get all those cool planes and choppers in the air while he went on about our great military (which he avoided like VD). All he needed was Tattoo from “Fantasy Island” yelling “Da plane! Da plane!”
Trump's writers also have as little shame as the guy they wrote this horror for. There he was, extolling women when more than 22 women have reported being molested by this asshole. There he was, talking Frederick Douglass when he gave the “fine people” okay to the racists who marched in Charlottesville.
A true highlight was when he urged young people to go into the military. This was like Hitler calling for peace and love.
Did you notice that his flyovers began with an extra-long shout-out to the Coast Guard? This was probably because the Coasties lead the league in rapes at the Coast Guard Academy even though they have fewer students than the other military academies, who are doing their best to keep up.
And Trump wanted accomplices for this shitshow, calling up the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to stand up there in full formal dress uniform like a wooden native American. I hope the dude got himself totally wasted afterwards to erase the shame to the military.
Oh, the tanks and fighting vehicles standing almost out of sight instead of rumbling down Pennsylvania Avenue like Trump wanted. At least somebody clued him that there haven't been any “new” Sherman tanks since World War Two. They did have some during the Revolutionary War, though, at Bunker Hill.
After watching the Trump shitshow, Vladimir Putin sent a coded message to Kim Jung Un: “Next time either of us visits with this simpleton, I suggest we
inform him that we both are in contact with JFK Jr. and that he has told us he wants Donald Trump to nominate him in absentia as his running mate in 2020. We can tell him that his citizens love him so much that they
will surely elect this slate even if his vice president is invisible. Given that his current VP is an empty suit, this should be no problem.
“Keep 'em flying, Kimbo.”
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