He Forgot 'Lots of Death'

Trump is our own “Dirty Donnie,” an even better squinter than Clint Eastwood.

There he was on TV, squinting his ass off, suckering the networks again, and talking loud and saying nothing, as usual. 

Trump has a very dark view of the world when he needs it, in spite of pissing in gold toilets all his life. He sees a southern border swarming with rapists and the ever-popular coyotes and also drug cartels and terrorists and rabid Jehovah's Witnesses. They are pouring in through the echoes of his mind, he sees them, actually sees them in his delirium of patriotism. 

But wait! The last time he was on TV, he of course recited his litany of bad border hombres and then – inspired – he added, “and death … lots of death.” It was dramatic – great theater, actually, like John Barrymore holding up the skull of Yorick.  But where was it this time? We got some fever-babble about caravan moms giving their daughters birth control pills for the trip because they would doubtless be raped at last once along the way. Okay, nice touch, bro. But not up there with “death, lots of death.” That's Dirty Donnie Trump's “Go ahead, make my day” payoff line and he didn't even use it. We was robbed!

Oh, yeah, he also flashed some of the best negotiating skills since that 24-dollar Manhattan Island deal. How's this: his offer was to give back what he took away and then get paid $7.5 billion smackers for this artful little deal. I guess he really is a genius. 

Too bad the Democrats didn't think so. Dirty Donnie's deal is dead in the water now and forever more. If only he hadn't forgotten the death stuff maybe.  This deal was so good he didn't even bother getting the Dems involved in crafting it. Why bother? He had some of the best minds in the,  history of negotiating working on it – Mike Pence, Jared Kushner, Stephen Miller, Mike Pompeo, and it was rumored that there was even input from that arch-diplomat, Ted Nugent. Who needs Democrats?

Who needs government workers either? His decision not to mention the 800,000 government workers who are looking at their second no pay due and a ripple that goes out across the nation was doubtless because he felt it was more important to spin his strategic horror stories and present his “common sense compromise” proposal without moving attention away from this masterpiece by mentioning the Shutdown. Also, Dirty Donnie's time  reading from a Teleprompter is limited by his Attention Deficit Disorder. A compassionate president like this would never disrespect the people he is starving. Never.