The Ultimate Poster Boy

While Trump is fuming and sputtering and making all sorts of totally wrong and semi-coherent comments on the raid on his longtime fixer, Michael Cohen, and deciding whether to go after Jeff Sessions or Rod Rosenstein or even Robert Mueller, or maybe bombing Syria to take the spotlight off what could be a presidential catastrophe, Scott Pruitt over at the Environmental Protection Agency must be creeping out from under the bulletproof desk he’s had installed, relieved to be out of the headlines, at least for now.

If they ever name an All-Star Arrogant team from among the many All-Star Assholes Trump is surrounding himself with, Pruitt will be the captain and bat cleanup. This dude is off the corruption charts, the ultimate poster boy for what happens when the wrong guy is put in the wrong job and the U.S. government checkbook is opened for him with a note that says, “Help Yourself!”

This Oklahoma cracker would make a locomotive take a dirt road. Doesn’t it seem a little strange that a guy in his job thinks he needs an 18-person security detail around the clock? Maybe, but, after all, somebody yelled some bad stuff at him once when he was flying coach. Next thing that could have happened was that somebody in coach might have thrown a bag of lightly salted peanuts at him. So it’s been nothing but first class or charter or military flights since then with a small security army to fend off the peanut-throwers or other potential miscreants.

But, hey, the Prez says this guy is doing “a great job” in destroying the environment he’s supposed to protect and making life a lot more polluted and dangerous for us ordinary citizens. Dang, then nothing’s too good for him. Not even a $43,000 cone of silence around his phone so that nobody can listen to the horrible things he’s ordaining as fast as he can.

Fucking up the environment gives a guy an appetite and with Washington traffic being what it is, why shouldn’t Pruitt be allowed to use sirens and flashing lights to get him to his favorite French restaurant lickety-split?

And if he wants to give some of his staff from Oklahoma raises that would choke a mustang and the White House says no-no, Scott Pruitt is so creative that he was able to back door the whole deal by using some obscure clean water rule. And he was so pissed that some high-ranking staff members didn’t see the genius here that he banished them to the nether reaches of his fiefdom.

And for those who scold him for his spending ways, well, he’s saving Uncle Sam a lot of bucks by the rent program he hooked up for himself: $50 bucks a night – when he’s there, mind you – at the condo of the wife of a lobbyist who represents many of the outfits that Pruitt is helping to destroy the environment. Conflict here? Not in this administration. A conflict in the Trump administration is when you are caught reading the Constitution.